Silk & Shadows

So, the other day…my ten year old began asking me prolific questions. The conversation went something like this…

Daughter (ten years old and in her “I’m bored” mode as usual): Mom, why do you write about paranormal stuff?

Mom: Well, it is a very popular genre right now.

Daughter: So, you think if you write paranormal that you’ll get big sales?

Mom: That would be great! But that’s not the only reason WHY I write it.

Daughter: Why do you write it then?

Mom: I like the idea of being able to create characters who have supernatural powers and I enjoy the mythology and fantasy of it all.

Daughter (twirls her hair, staring out the window): But you didn’t invent demons.

Mom: No, of course not but I invented the ones in my book like this vampromancer demon who is part vampire and part necromancer.

Daughter (scrunches up her nose at me): But vampires aren’t real. Demons are real.

Mom (suddenly feeling inadequate as to how to respond to the too smart 10-year-old): Yes, well, I write fiction and so my characters aren’t necessarily based on the real study of demonology.

Mom (feeling smart with her wise answer).

Daughter: Hmmm…well can you name any real demons?

Mom (trying to wash dishes and break up battle between a 3 year old and a 1 year old that is currently brewing nearby): Uh, well…let’s see…

Daughter: Because we studied about demons in Bible class.

Mom: Oh, good. I’m getting my money’s worth out of that school.

Daughter (rolling eyes at Mom): I’m serious. Demons are real. Vampires are not demons.

Mom (deep sigh): Let’s talk about this more later. I can’t really concentrate on this discussion with your brother and sister screaming and my hands in the dishwater.

Daughter (shrugs): Okay, well anytime you want to learn about REAL demons…you know where to find me.

Mom (smiles)

How did these kids get to be so smart at such a young age? I mean, when I was 10 years old (I struggle to remember the time) I was into those little pencils that had the removable lead pieces that you pushed down from the top of the pencil to replace it with a freshly sharpened piece. Then you put the used piece back through the top to advance the next nub of lead downward. Kind of like a mechanical pencil but I think they were called “push pencils”. Anyone remember those? The ones I had were the kind where the pencils themselves were also scented with a fruity scent.

That was my 5th grade obsession. That and the new bad (very bad) permanent that my mother (who was a cosmetology student at the time) gave me. I wanted to look like Molly Ringwald and came out looking like…well…most definitely NOT Molly Ringwald.

I was also into this nifty little machine named Atari that my Dad brought home for us. It was the first in real video games and I was determined to master the game “Pong” before all the other kids in my neighborhood.

I most definitely was NOT thinking about demonology or the study thereof. So, are our kids smarter than us? There’s a show dedicated to just that theory (Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?) and despite the fact that my sleep deprived brain couldn’t focus in on my daughter’s impromptu discussion of demons—I’m still the boss in this house. Or, am I?

In Courting Demons, Paisley thinks she’s the boss too. She’s the mother of two children, a much more powerful witch than she realizes, and now the judge of all demons in the Underworld. But really, we may all have something to learn from our kids.

What is something you’ve been taught by your kid? Or, better yet, what were you “into” in the 5th grade?

Thanks for hosting me today at Silk & Shadows. Hope everyone will chime in with their own lessons learned.

Giveaway for the day:

Leave a question or comment to be entered to win today’s prize: A Vintage Push Pencil and an e-book copy of Courting Demons!

Then, enter to win my book tour Grand Prize Kindle by following me on tour and e-mailing me the answers to each question of the day at the end of tour. The more questions you answer, the more entries you gain.

Question of the Day:

Kerri Nelson discovered her love of writing at an early age and soon became a columnist for her local newspaper winning the Outstanding Young Journalist of the Year Award for her efforts.

Giveaway for the day:

Then, enter to win my book tour Grand Prize Kindle by following me on tour and e-mailing me the

Question of the Day:

© Kerri Nelson 2011

This article first appeared in the Romance Writers of NZ (RWNZ) monthly magazine Heart 2 Heart.  I wrote it after the newsletter editor there asked if I had an article on character creation and I realized that, gasp!, I didn’t. Now I do. I’m also teaching a class on Creating Creepy Characters for Savvy Authors this week and this post adds to that content.

* *                  *

Which comes first, plot or character? Like the chicken-egg question, it’s basically irrelevant. For successful poultry — and story — creation you need both. For me, though, plot comes more readily. “What happens” bubbles up in my brain before “who it happens to.” Since character doesn’t come first for me, I have a process to create the people to live (live through!) my story.

Warning #1: Long post
Warning #2: Pantsers/organic writers, back away slowly. This technique may give you contact dermatitis.

1. What sort of person will suffer the most from this particular storyline?

Okay, that sounds a little mean, but conflict is the heart of commercial genre fiction, so the characters are going to have to suffer to earn their happy ending. Story conflict is amplified by building personalities who will struggle most vigorously against (and ultimately for) the lesson they have to learn. Thoughtful character creation is especially important in romance because not only are the characters fighting their way through the plot, the hero and heroine will fight against and for each other.

For me, thinking about the theme helps me find my characters. In my Marked Souls urban fantasy romances with alpha male warriors possessed by repentant demons, the series theme is the shifting balance between good and evil, but each book in the series explores that question from a slightly different angle. For example, in the latest story, VOWED IN SHADOWS, the book theme is about weaknesses of the flesh. Naturally, the heroine is a stripper with a boa (not the feathered kind; the reptilian). Nim’s body is a sensual weapon she uses against an uncaring world…and it is also her weakness because she still carries the scars of childhood sexual abuse. So who would suffer most from such a conflicted heroine? A married man who hasn’t had sex in eighty years! Unlike the heroine, the widower hero holds femininity sacred. I’m being a bit wry by saying ‘holds’ since a maiming in an earlier story left Jonah with only one hand; his weakness of the flesh is quite literal.

I find that it helps to list the characteristics of the hero and heroine side by side to make sure the conflict between them and the plot is inherent in their personalities. I also make sure the seeds of their need for each other is nestled in that conflict by answering the question “What does he/she learn from her/him because of the story?”

2. What made the character this way?

When I first started writing, I took a character-building class where they handed out a twelve-page dossier to fill out. Eye color, okay, but favorite ice cream? Really? It paralyzed me because it seemed so arbitrary. (People with processes tend to dislike arbitrary.) If dreaming up a character to that level of minutia works for you, of course, carry on. I find that knowing the character’s likes and dislikes NOW is less important to me¾and to the story¾than the roots of their discontent. Working backstory into the actual pages is tricky, but knowing the character’s history can help flesh out the present without seeming so random. Not all of it (please, not all of it!) will show up in your story, but hints of those experiences will tint the character at every level.

The rule of backstory creation is: Go deeper. For example, Jonah is an ex-missionary. Of course he is, since Nim is a stripper! I wanted that source of conflict between them from the beginning. But I also wanted to give a reason for their eventual relationship. So I went deeper. Sure, he’s a missionary, but why? He was a religious man (another level of conflict with his demonic possession) and his wife was a minister’s daughter (the exact opposite of his heroine) but what more? Go deeper. Ah, he was a missionary, in part, for the adventure. But why? Going deeper, I find out that as a child he read a penny dreadful with bare-breasted native girls! That spirit of adventure along with a touch of male ogling gave him the history to bond with his heroine. Eventually

3. How will the character get from the beginning to the happy ending?

Once the basic characteristics and backstory are nailed down, I track the character’s growth through the plot. As a plotter, it’s easy for me to let the battle scenes run amok without making sure the characters get something out of it besides bruises. But since our genre is about conflict AND change, I want to make sure the characters are embedded in the experiences on the page.

Time to make another list. I start with Point A: where the character begins the story, which is usually some version of 1. despairing, 2. lost, 3. oblivious, 4. willfully blind, or 5. happily puttering and about to be catapulted into the gleeful hell that is the plot. I end with Point Last, where the character finally “gets it,” whatever it is for the particular story. Since stories where the characters come to unmotivated insights and unsustainable epiphanies are unsatisfying and unbelievable, I chart the clear steps between Point A and Last.

For example, Nim goes from the kind of girl who metaphorically wields a gallon of gasoline and a match to being a powerful positive light against the darkness. A few of the steps between include: selfishly taking on a demon to improve her chances of winning the stripper all-stars; facing monsters in real life and in herself and learning she finally has the power to fight them; finding tentative friendship with other women in the demon-possessed league; admiring the hero for his dedication to fighting evil; believing his love for her means her scars don’t make her damaged goods; valuing the goodness in the world.

Here is where plot and character and romantic relationship intertwine on the page. The forward progression of the plot drives changes in the character, and the character’s changes drive the plot forward, and the hero and heroine push each other. I find that I usually have to move pieces around a few times — can’t have the hero injured in the battle here because that would force the heroine to acknowledge her feelings and she can’t do that yet, etc. Personally, I think that character rules plot because I find you can more easily massage the plot to echo the character’s growth; fudging the character’s growth to fit the plot can feel forced and unrealistic (always funny when you are talking about fiction).

I have other, smaller tools for refining characters¾motto, behavioral quirk, personal imagery dictionary, etc. — but these three steps give me a sturdy launch for a story. You can also write most of a synopsis with these pieces. Pantsers, if you made it this far, you see there’s still a lot of room for on-the-fly characterization, like favorite ice cream. I also use these character notes during revisions to make sure I told the story I wanted to tell.

Although I consider myself a very analytical writer (shocking, I know) in the end, I do believe a character comes alive through some indescribable jolt of magic. But I think it’s a lot like Frankenstein’s monster; Frankenstein had to do a lot of work first — grave robbing, sewing, decanting mysterious bubbling liquids — before the lightning brought his creature to life.

Happy mad scientisting!

First off, my heart and prayers go out to those dealing with the disasters in Japan. May all of you remain safe.

As for sagging middles…these aren’t the only options available to you, but if you’re stuck, maybe they’ll spark a fresh perspective:

1. Raise the stakes. Have your hero discover the looming disaster is even worse than he imagined. An example of this would be discovering the kidnapped child he’s hunting for is injured or sick. Or the road in front of the bus has not been finished there’s a twenty foot gap between the hero and safety.

2. Peel back another layer of your hero’s character. Use an event to trigger a memory that is very painful for the hero. This is especially useful if it causes conflict between the hero and heroine, or causes the hero to veer away from a possible route to success.

3. Change direction. Put a big roadblock in your hero’s path that forces the hero to discard his current plan and come up with a new one. A hero always has a plan. Sometimes the plan doesn’t work out. A literal example of this is the escape tunnel that ends up blocked, but it can be anything.

4. Unleash your villain. Have your villain do something really smart and really nasty. And if your hero gets injured in the fallout, so much the better. The best villains are always the ones that manage to outsmart your hero a time or two.

5. Deepen the romance. Turn up the heat and let your hero and heroine sweat it out together. This one actually ties in nicely to any of the above events, because there’s nothing like a near-death experience to stir up the hormones.

If you’re a writer, do you have a favorite way to juice up your story? As a reader, do you recall an awesome story twist that really worked for you?

Ever struggled to identify the ‘fatal’ flaw in your character? That one personality trait that constantly gets him or her into hot water? The one that just might cause a black moment between the two main characters?

There are lots of flaws to choose from; as humans, we suffer from many.

But one place to look for a flaw, if you’re having trouble defining one, is within the character’s strength. Most writers have no trouble describing the utter awesomeness that is their main character. They instinctively know what unique skills she has, what finer qualities he possesses. But strengths are funny things. They are often two-sided, like a coin. There’s the side that makes your hero or heroine shine, and the side that’s a little tarnished. Let me give you an example.

Let’s say your hero is a police officer, and you decide his strength is that he’s selfless. This is a guy who defends the weak and rescues the innocent. Very heroic, right? What could be flawed about that?

Surprisingly, there are several possibilities:

- If he leaps to the defense of the helpless all the time, is he careful about his own safety? Or is he the type to lay his life on the line every time? I could see that causing problems with his heroine, couldn’t you?

- If he really enjoys saving people, maybe he makes assumptions about their ability to handle danger. Wrong assumptions. I could see that causing problems with his heroine, couldn’t you?

Let’s pick another one. Perhaps you decide your heroine’s strength is that she’s independent and self-reliant. The not-so-wonderful side might look like this:

- If she’s self-reliant, she might have a bee in her bonnet about asking for help. Which means she probably won’t, until it’s too late. I could see that causing problems with the hero, couldn’t you?

- If she’s independent and strong, she might see attempts to smooth her path as suggestions that she’s incapable of handling things herself. I could see that causing problems with the hero, couldn’t you?

- Strong, self-assured people can occasionally be abrasive, rubbing people the wrong way, especially when they are under stress. I could see that causing problems with the hero, couldn’t you?

One more? What if you give your heroine a strength of intelligence? Is there a negative side to that? Yes.

- If she’s smart, she often knows all the answers. If she regularly shares those answers, she can inadvertently make other people feel stupid. Think Temperance Brennan on Bones. I could see that causing problems with the hero, couldn’t you?

- If she’s smart, she might think two or three steps ahead of other people she’s working with, leading to her facing the villain without support. I could see that causing problems with her hero, couldn’t you?

So, next time you’re stuck trying to identify a character’s flaw, flip the strength coin.

Got a little extra time on your hands now that the kids are back in school? Let me help you out with that.

Need a book to read?
Last year, several of my auto-buy paranormal authors teamed up to do a blog together, called The Oddshots. The contributing authors are Nalini Singh, Ilona Andrews, Meljean Brooks, Patrice Michelle, and Jill Myles…a bunch of very talented authors. If you like hot heroes and smart heroines, check out their books.

Need a laugh?
Then I recommend dropping by Debbie Ohi’s very cool site. She does some hilarious comics about writers…and other stuff. I found Debbie (also known as InkyGirl) via Twitter and now regularly stop by for a chuckle.

Need a change of pace?
Try a visit to the Writer’s Forensics Blog. As you might guess from the title, the topics lean toward the grisly, but I promise it’s fascinating stuff. Or maybe it’s only fascinating if you’re a writer. Or a twisted writer. What can I say? I like it. And if you need cheering up afterward, just stop by Debbie’s site again.

Currently working on: Just finished page proofs on FORGED OF SHADOWS, the last step before June 2010 publication
Mood: Good luck, little book!  Now get out

Doesn’t everyone remember the first romance novel they discovered?  Back in the day, I stumbled upon my mother’s copy of A ROSE IN WINTER by Kathleen Woodiwiss.  A charming rouge, a burned-out manor house, an auction-block marriage, a winter ball, and a Beauty and the Beast twist.  Oh my!  After reading that, I was ruined forever.  Kinda like your typical swooning historical ingenue.

I think the right first romance novel is very much like the right first kiss.  You want it to be special, deep and meaningful, a memory to cherish.  So, like a fairy godmother picking out a prince, I take a book recommendations very seriously, especially when I am recommending a first romance novel.

Romance novels already suffer from red-headed stepchild syndrome with some (silly!) people, but I love when I can win over a new reader.  I’m always discovering new great books that I just KNOW will turn on the most hard-hearted cynic, and I also have a few gold standards that I can fall back on.

Romantic comedy
I always like to start off easy on a new romance reader.  I find a contemporary romantic comedy can be a good beginner romance because:

• The contemporary settings are readily absorbed.  There are no Austenian social mannerisms to maneuver around, no “och, wee lass, do ye ken mah claymore yearns fer ye?” historical diction to decipher.
• Rom-com movies often pave the way in reluctant psyches.
• The fun covers sometimes don’t even give away that it IS a romance.

Anything by Jennifer Crusie is a great “starter” because her dazzlingly delightful dialogue will win over non-believers.  And it’s so convenient that she’s writing with Bob Mayer now, because you can even spring these books on unsuspecting male-type readers because — hey! — there’s a guy’s name on the cover!

Historical romance
For the slightly uptight, a good, corseted historical can help loosen them up.  The trick with “reading” a reader who might like a historical is figuring out whether they’ll sway toward a more correct historical interpretation or if a rollicking adventure would more tickle their fancy.

But as far as tickling goes, a spicy, saucy story like Delilah Marvelle‘s are sure to please.  And by pleasure, I think we all understand what I mean

Of course, there are also category romances, romantic suspense, inspirationals, straight contemporary, women’s fiction (with a strong romance)…  And, of course, paranormal romance   But as you know, paranormal romance isn’t for the faint of heart.

Finding a first romance novel for the people around me isn’t just a job.  It’s a passion!

And how lucky I am to be able to indulge my love as a tax write-off

What’s the first romance novel you recommend to newbies?  Have you ever made a romance reader for life (or — in the case of paranormal romance – afterlife)?

Currently working on: The End is coming! (Not an apocalypse end, just The End of my Book 3)
Mood: Pre-post-apocalyptic

As a child of the Cold War, I have a special place in my heart for apocalypses.  Total world destruction was forever imminent — but it was survivable as long as we got under our desks in time, and meanwhile there’s still a lot of ice cream to eat when you’re 10 years old so it was hard to get too freaked out.

Of course, I planned to be a survivor (the aforementioned ice cream was motivation and I’m super quick sliding under a desk) so — thinking ahead — I even decided to study Russian.  It was us or them, I figured.

Who knew, I should’ve studied Mandarin.  Oh well.

Over the years, I studied apocalyptic literature and movies with great and horrified delight.  Here are a few of my favorites apocalypses you might have missed the first time around.  I even learned a few more tricks — besides the head under desk thing — that might help you survive the end.

ALAS, BABYLON by Pat Frank
One of the first post-apocalyptic books written in the nuclear age, ALAS, BABYLON was also one of the first post-apocalyptic books I read as a kid.  Set in a small Florida town, the book chronicles the breakdown of the society — naturally — as well as the heroism of those who kept their heads and their hearts.

Apocalyptic lesson: When the bespectacled doctor’s only set of eyeglasses are destroyed, I was horrified.  As a four-eyed kid myself, I understood this was a death sentence.  The lesson I learned was read lots now because you never know when you won’t be able to read again.

SWAN SONG by Robert McCammon
In a post-nuclear world, two children become the leaders of opposing camps of good and evil as the rebirth of civilization hangs in the balance.  Apparently the author hates being compared to Stephen King, but this story does read as a more digestible version of the themes in King’s THE STAND, another fun post-apoc — plague, this time — story.

Apocalyptic lesson:  The survivors are afflicted with keloid scars that worsened through the course of the story… and then revealed the true, inner nature of the afflicted.  The lesson being, you better be pure and good if you want to avoid permanent radiation burns and possession by creeping evil.

Mad Max with young, hawt, pre-crazy Mel Gibson
Because post-peak-oil is definitely post-apocalyptic as anybody who wouldn’t be able to fuel up their sweet 1973 XB GT Ford Falcon Coupe aka Max’s Interceptor would agree.  You probably saw this movie when it first came out and then it got buried under layers of Tina Turner’s hair in Beyond Thunderdome.  Go back to the roots where surviving the apocalypse meant being badder ass than the bad guys.  Yes, I know this contradicts the earlier post-apocalypse lesson of being pure of heart, committed to humanity, and not so quick on the trigger.

Apocalyptic lesson: Invest in black leather now, before it’s too late!!!

Logan’s Run (the 1976 movie version)
Spoiler alert!  This was an interesting take on post-apocalypse because… whatever bad thing had happened (some sort of environmental disaster, apparently) was over, but the people didn’t know it and had barricaded themselves inside a domed city and were euthanizing themselves to avoid any overcrowding that would force them out into the bigger world.  Allegedly, a remake — in the works with various producers and directors since the mid-1990s — has been again rescheduled for 2012.

Apocalyptic lesson:  The only thing worse than an apocalypse that ends the world is living as if an apocalypse has ended the world… when it hasn’t.  Doh!

Apocalypse has gotten more sophisticated over the years, from the fabulous climate change pseduo-science of The Day After Tomorrow — cold air from space swirls down to freeze our heroes!!! — to the amok-running of technology in Terminator 2: Judgment Day (my fave of the franchise — girl crush!) which taught us that (contrary to the waif-like Jessica 6 in Logan’s Run) upper body strength will be vital to post-apocalypse survival and, yes, black is still THE color for Armageddon.  But for all the changes since the fall of the Soviet Union, apocalypse remains full of good times in the end times.

Don’t forget to pack your Zippo.

Do you have a favorite apocalypse story?  Do you think you’d be the brave assistant deputy mayor who leads the survivors to safety?  Or would you be the well-armed loner who vows not to get involved?  Or would you be the mutant screamer?

I enjoy torturing my characters. I get a kick out of making them face impossible challenges, battle sinuous evil, and survive harrowing events that threaten to rip away everything important to them.

Which is why I force many of them to have day jobs.

Admit it, didn’t I just describe your average day at the office? From what I’ve observed, sinuous evil takes many forms: Bag lunches disappearing from the communal fridge; photocopiers that jam just when you’ve got a hundred reports to produce; brown-nosing co-workers who always manage to snag the free tickets to the baseball game. Not that I’m pointing fingers.

As Jessa mentioned yesterday, being an immortal demon slayer has a save-the-universe urgency that can’t be contained to pre- and post-work hours. But the world of Drawn into Darkness is a lot like the world we live in, and people are all too eager to tell the tabloids about that weird guy who lives next door. Thus, even immortals need to LOOK normal.

Some of my characters stick to standard job fare, like my heroine Rachel in Drawn into Darkness, who works a 9 to 5 job (Ha! I really mean 8 to 6 with homework) at a local high tech firm. She has a boss who—as Rachel puts it—“stalked the halls like a lion, pouncing on the slightest pause in activity”. Rachel’s job causes her a lot of extra conflict when she’s forced to take on a powerful demon to save her daughter. Let’s face it, even after the demon’s dead, you still need to pay the rent. Poor Rachel, tortured by her author.

Other characters, especially the ones who used to have jobs as sword-wielding knights, have fake jobs, just for appearances. Lachlan MacGregor, the hero of Drawn into Darkness, disguises himself as a priest. He’s got a couple of reasons why he chose that profession, but dressing the way he does certainly simplifies his explanations when he’s caught hovering around a dead body. Which, as a Soul Gatherer, is a daily risk.

Brian Webster, the male lead from the second Soul Gatherer book, Bound by Darkness, used to be a stockbroker (back when he was alive). Now, he uses his investment skills to keep himself in designer suits. Conveniently, investing is not a job that requires regular office hours, so he can pause to battle evil whenever and where ever it pops up.

The heroine in Bound is a thief. Lena steals ancient artifacts and sells them on the black market. She’s got her reasons, which I won’t reveal here. Problem is, being a thief isn’t a job you take on to ‘fit in’. In fact, she doesn’t mention her little hobby to her neighbors—the business card she hands around at block parties labels her an antiquities dealer.

Personally, I love imagining people’s alter-egos. Got anyone at work who you’re certain moonlights as a vampire? Can you imagine the woman in the next cubby with a lab in her basement worthy of Dr. Horrible? A mild-mannered co-worker who might be save the world in his spare time? No need to name names. Just tell us what you think their secret persona is…good or evil.

When it comes to snacking while I’m writing, I take my guidance from the food pyramid. It’s simple to follow and I think it’s important to put all the right nutrients into your body to spur the creative process. I tried to find a picture of the food pyramid I use on the internet, but strangely I couldn’t find one. So, I took the liberty of drawing one.

The pyramid shape is an indication of the quantity of each major food group you should ingest. Although my pyramid doesn’t have a dairy section, you’ll note that there is milk in both the chocolate food group, and in my case, in the coffee food group. Not everyone puts milk in their coffee, however, and those that prefer black should up their intake of choco-heaven to make up for the lost dairy.

Tea or cola can be substituted for coffee. Although not specifically addressed in the pyramid, it’s recommended that you switch from caffeinated to decaf after two cups. Unless you’re on deadline. In that case, you may also support your coffee food group with shots of Red Bull.

The necessity of including choco-heaven in your diet is tri-fold. At different times it can provide soothing calm, inspiration, and emotional connection. No dedicated snacker should skip this vital section of the pyramid. Unless you’re allergic. Then all we can say is “Long live the carob bean”.

Popcorn provides all the dietary fiber you could ask for. The only disadvantage of the popcorn food group is the smears it can leave on your keyboard. On the other hand, butter is easier to clean than chocolate, which is why we recommend eating the chocolate straight from the wrapper.

I know what you’re going to say—there doesn’t appear to be any protein in this food program. That’s actually not true. This food pyramid recommends putting large quantities of cheddar powder on the popcorn to accommodate the full range of nutritional requirements.

It also recommends including exercise in your snacking life—stretches while seated and regular marches to the fridge, coffee pot and ladies room. If you’re so inclined, putting a load of laundry in the machine while you’re up will give an extra workout to those biceps.

Happy snacking!

This week’s topic is “the crafts we pursue outside of writing”. I was tempted to create a piece of fiction for this spot, since I really don’t do much outside of writing. Instead, I sat back and wondered if that was true.

What is the truth? Well, I don’t cultivate wonders in the garden, knit cozy sweaters, cook up masterpieces in the kitchen, or keep a wickedly clean house. Nor do I paint watercolor landscapes, snap prize-winning family photos, or finesse delightful scrapbooks out of vacations to Disney World.

(Insert picture of me peering about the house in desperation, looking for evidence of a life).

Aha!

If I make the assumption that pursuing a craft need not equate being good at it, then I do have a hobby. Arranging silk flowers. Most of the arrangements currently on display in my home were made by moi. Please keep in mind that I’ve already logged the caveat “need not equate with being good at it”. My talents are mediocre at best. But I enjoy putting baskets together, when I find the time.

Lately, though, my spare time has been dedicated to a craft of a different sort: motherhood. I’m a single mom with a teenage daughter. Between chauffeuring her to school, music lessons, multiple social activities, and the shopping mall, I give her advice on life (ha!), admire her artistic skills (the girl can really draw!), and share enjoyable moments on the couch chowing down on all-dressed potato chips & watching our favorite shows.

Am I the only one who can’t find the time to fit in a hobby? Really?