Silk & Shadows

What I Did On My Summer Vacation
By Jessa Slade

My summer started with a family road trip to bury my grandfather with full military honors at Arlington Cemetery. He has a lovely spot next to an apple tree with a peek-a-boo view of the Washington Monument.

Although the reason for our gathering was somber, we had a wonderful reunion with the whole clan where we spent several days at a cottage on a back channel of Chesapeake Bay, harassing the blue crabs and eating Maryland Madness ice cream (lemon ice cream with raspberry swirl, chocolate chips and white chocolate; yes, sounds like madness, but tastes like summer).

Speaking of tastes of summer, I returned home to the first cucumbers of the season. Being a lazy homemaker, I invented this great pickle recipe:

• Take 1 cucumber.
• Slice it thin.
• Put it in an empty jar of store-bought pickle juice.
• Let sit for three days.
• Eat.

This only works two or three times before you leach all the flavor from the pickle juice. As lazy recipes go, I think I’ve hit a new personal low.

The pickle juice had only just gone bland when I departed for two reader conventions: RomCon in Denver was a laff riot with events like Build-A-Hero (pictured below, where I contributed the rippling abs, thankyewthankyewverymuch) and Authors After Dark in Philadelphia.

AAD, which is geared specifically for paranormal readers, is in NEW ORLEANS next year! On Bourbon Street! A seven minute walk from Cafe Du Monde beignets! You’re coming too, right?

Scarcely had I returned home (again) when I left (again) on a long weekend writing retreat up in Washington state.

To prove I was working reeeelly hard (shuh, right):

And now I am back at my computer (again) ready to work hard (really, this time). As a welcome home present — to you! – we’re giving away some book treasures from my travels and from some of my favorite book friends.

At the end of the week, Random.org will choose a winner from our newsletter subscribers. If you are already subscribed, just say hey. If you aren’t signed up yet, you can do that from the upper left corner, right up there, see it? One winner will get a party pack of Laurie London, Erin Kellison and Elisabeth Naughton. And I bet I can find some goodies for two more winners too, so go sign up.

We’re glad to be back! How about you? Eager for the change of seasons, or are you clinging to summer with both hands and all ten summer-pedicured toes?

Currently working on: A new world
Mood: Adventurous

So I’ve been writing hard for awhile. This is not noteworthy, really, since writing is what writers do. But because I’ve been writing hard, I’ve let a few other chores slip.

This is one of three dust-apatosauruses I found under the bed. I’m not proud of my lax housekeeping skills (actually, I am, kind of; you think just ANYbody can manage a herd of dust-apatosauruses?) which is why I finally dragged out the vacuum cleaner (pictured here for scale) to tame the beasts.

[Editor's note: No dust-apatosauruses were injured in the cleaning of this house. All dust-wildlife was released into the wild.]

Is it just my imagination — which I admit runs rampant on occasion — or does it seem to you that we’re all busier than ever? My brain is constantly humming with to-do’s and deadlines and wish-lists.

Really, the bees in my poppies got nothing on the buzz in my head.

Which is why Silk & Shadows is taking a summer vacation. We’ll be back the first week of September, fresh and spunky, maybe with new notebooks and first-day-of-school shoes.

In the meantime, we will be frolicking in the misty fields like Nils Blommer’s Meadow Elves:

Nah, actually, we’ll all probably be writing like fiends. Because that’s what writers do.

See you in the fall!

The first season of HBO’s new series Game of Thrones (based on the books by George R.R. Martin) came to an exhilarating end on Sunday night.

I have to say, they have me hooked. It’s grim, violent, and full of graphic sexual content … and I’ll be waiting with bated breath for next season, which won’t happen until Spring 2012.

For those of you who haven’t seen the show, I’ll avoid spoilers as much as I can, but I’m going to list some of the reasons why I think this is a great series:

1. Conflict. There are masses and masses of it. Yes, there are also masses of characters, but after the first show, I had a pretty good handle on who was who. The conflict exists on a number of different levels: between ousted royalty and their replacements, between houses (or clans), between members of families, between duty and family, between societal dictates and individual preferences, between old beliefs and new beliefs, and so on. Very deep, very interesting.

2. Characters. The characters are revealed through their actions, both good and bad. They make choices we like, we hate, and we wince over. Bad things happen (see item #1) and the characters are forced into situations they’d really rather avoid. People scheme, lie, and make promises they don’t keep. What does all this mean? It means the characters that are vivid and complex. You want to spend time with them, week after week.

3. Mystery. The world unfolds slowly, with each show providing more and more detail. The people change as events influence their lives. The political landscape shifts, creating turmoil for all. And through it all, you’re left wondering. Not in a frustrating way, but in a curious way. What will happen to the characters? How will the characters react to events? How will the political intrigues play out? Who is trustworthy, and who is not? What better way to engage the audience than to have them wonder and hope and question?

As a storyteller, I’m filled with admiration for George R.R. Martin. As a viewer, I’m just plain enthralled.

Anyone else out there a fan of the series?

Currently working on: Another round of editing
Mood: Determined

Yesterday was Father’s Day, and since romance novels are all about heroes, it seems only right to take an extra day here to mention the first hero many a kid– hopefully — encounters: a father.

From my dad, I inherited enough engineering DNA to make me a plotter rather than a pantser. I got from him a love of deserts (“eroded dirt” as my tree-loving mother calls them) and desserts. He taught me how to catch garter snakes — and taught me to leave them alone. He passed on to me a hefty dose of his sense of humor which I in turn pass to my heroes.

He also gave me good advice over the years, which I’ll share with you:

“Always pursue your dreams, or at some point your dreams will end up pursuing you.”

Inspiring yet mildly menacing, like all the best advice. It contrasts poignantly with the advice a friend got from his father when we were all in our early 20s: “Fergit yer dreams.” (My friend’s dad wasn’t a hick but he was intoxicated at the time of the advice, hence the slurring.) What kind of bitter sorrow drives a man to say such a thing to his son?

“Success will come with patience and persistence.”

This advice made me laugh because my paternal DNA lacks the chromosome for patience. I wish I’d listened anyway. Persistence is probably the more critical component of success, but patience makes the wait more pleasant.

“We love you and will always be here for you. But don’t move back home.” (Paraphrased)

I figure he saw a nature show about the papa bird kicking the baby bird out of the nest. But really, giving his kids the space to spread their wings and the freedom to fall must be a scary moment for a loving father. But then he gets to remodel the empty bedroom into a home office, so it’s probably worth a few sleepless nights.

“The key is to enjoy life while you work to reach your dreams. That way, the path becomes as rewarding as the objective.”

This is advice I struggle to remember every day. Or at least every other day. Once a week, minimum. Enjoy. Work. Dream. Good balance. Thanks, Dad.

Having a loving, supportive, smart, interested father is a great gift. What’s the best advice your dad gave you?

Currently working on: Listening to the thunder of an approaching storm (literally and figuratively)
Mood: Antsy

I recently read an article about the regrets of the dying. The article was in response to a blog post by a palliative care worker who compiled a top five regrets list from her conversations with the dying. Both articles — and several more I found on the web after a search; the topic apparently captured the blogosphere’s imagination — were interesting and thoughtful. And all seemed to miss a crucial point:

Everybody will have some regrets.

It’s inevitable, I think. Even for someone with all the opportunities in the world, there isn’t enough time to explore every option. And for every option chosen, another option is left behind. Anyone with even a little curiosity is going to wonder about the roads not taken, and at least occasionally that wondering will be tinged with regret.

The top regret listed was not having “the courage to live a life true to myself” and not “honour[ing] even a half of their dreams.”

Sounds so easy to follow your dreams. Like the only reason those dying people hadn’t followed their dreams was because nobody had showed them a top five list of things they were going to kick themselves for later if only they had the strength and flexibility.

Maybe it will be that easy for some. Maybe they’ll read that list and say, I won’t let that happen to me. But dreams don’t come cheap.

Which is kind of funny when you consider that dreams are free every night when you sleep.

Dreams (at least the kind that cause deathbed maunderings of regret) are demanding. They take time — and, as mentioned earlier, there is never enough of that. They take resources, focus, effort. They take from other dreams. And they may or may not reward all that time and effort. The potential of the dream may be the only reward for the pursuit. And the pursuit of one dream — by its nature — will likely negate the possibility of pursuing something else.

I am so glad I’ve had the chance to pursue my dreams. I’ve even captured a few of them. But they came at a price, and I think rather than hoping for a life with no regrets at all, I will just find regrets I can live with. And die with.

Currently working on: Unpacking
Mood: Contemplative

Today is Memorial Day here. Originally intended as a day of remembrance for those who died in the nation’s service, the three-day weekend also gets used for general remembrances of all departed loved ones as well as for an excuse to barbecue various departed farmyard animals. This year, I used the weekend to attend a cousin’s wedding which was cause for many memories as well.

Memory is an interesting thing. Memory is how we attach meaning and relevance and value to moments no longer in our immediate timespace, and yet memory is a highly unreliable standard, influenced by attention, emotion, presupposition and more.

Memory is even more problematic in the hands of a storyteller.

Lots of stories were told this weekend around the wedding. People sharing stories about the bride and groom, sharing stories about what they’ve been up to since the last wedding/funeral, sharing stories about how they met their own life partners. Silly stories, sweet stories, sad stories.

I wonder how many of them were true. Or “truthy.” Or not true but True with a capital T.

As a semi-professional storyteller, I respect the judicious molding of memory into story. XY often bemoans this vocational hazard of mine.

He says, “That’s not how it happened.” (Or so he remembers.)

I say, “But it’s funnier that way.”

Funnier or sweeter or sadder, depending.

It seems odd to me that poppies are associated with Memorial Day since opium is made from poppies and one of the side effects of opium use is memory loss. But maybe the other side effect (at least according to the Romanticists of the later 18th century) of opium — insight — is ultimately more important than mere memory.

For the storyteller, memory and truth work in service to the story. I noticed this technique in many of the stories told this weekend. I could see the technique best when I’d been part of the original event and got to hear the “story-ized” version told to others.

1. Tell it simple.

Life is complicated. (Nothing like wedding planning to prove that.) The story version of life is simpler. Look for unnecessary complications, redundancies and tangents, and eliminate them. In your stories, I mean. Although I might also try this in real life.

2. Tell it “more.”

Make if funnier or sadder or crazier or whatever-ier. Find the “truth” that the story is telling and bring out the threads that lead there.

3. Tell it again.

While it’s painfully inevitable that some people tell the same story to death, I also see that the best stories get honed to a thing of beauty by regular retelling. I think this correlates to the craft of writing on a couple different levels, whether it’s choosing a familiar and well-loved thematic trope during the brainstorming stage or revising for best effect in later drafts.

Next time you’re at a family event hearing the same old same old or eavesdropping at a coffee shop to strangers, listen to the stories being told around you. What makes them interesting? What makes your attention wander? How can you apply those to your storytelling?

The publishing world is constantly changing. The basic premise remains the same—delivering stories to readers—but the mechanisms shift. Sometimes slowly, sometimes fast.

The advent of the reasonably-priced e-reader device is one of the many influences that have shaped the book market over the last few years. Others have included the narrowing of physical distribution channels and the closing of brick-and-mortar bookstores.

These changes aren’t unique to the publishing business—if you look around, you can see the erosion of physical distribution in other industries, as well. Music is moving away from CDs and towards electronic distribution sites like iTunes. Movies are moving away from DVDs and towards electronic distribution sites like NetFlix. Once the channel matures enough, the content flows faster and faster.

Change makes us uncomfortable, though, so many authors—especially aspiring authors—are worried about how all this will impact them. And to be honest, no one has a crystal ball, so it’s hard to answer that.

But along with the change has come opportunity. Even as authors face greater challenges breaking into the big New York publishing houses, they’ve been given more control over the distribution channel—new ways to get content into the hands of readers have blossomed along with the e-reader market.

Amazon and Barnes&Noble both have self-publishing arms to allow authors to develop content and supply it to the buyers of their reading devices. Sites like Smashwords.com, which takes word processor files, converts them to a variety of e-reader formats, and distributes them to major retailers, have sprung up to meet a new need.

Now, it’s important to remember that publishing houses are not just distribution centers. Traditionally, they’ve been the gatekeepers of quality, reviewing hundreds upon thousands of submissions and selecting only those they believe are ready to be broadcast to the world at large. In days of old, editors at these houses would groom a budding author until his or her potential was realized, and we would all benefit.

Although tough economic times have given these editors monstrous workloads, they still provide feedback and advice that improves the work of their authors each and every day. If you doubt that, look at the acknowledgements page of most novels (including mine!)—you’ll see a heartfelt thank you to the editor.

There is no gatekeeper in the self-publishing world. With the rise of self-publishing, you’ll unfortunately also see a rise in the number of books that have been published but weren’t ready. You’ll also find gems that for whatever reason, were unable to reach the market under the original system.

Authors have more control over their work in this evolving environment, but they also have more responsibility. Cover design and editing now become theirs to manage, in addition to the marketing burden they’ve been increasingly asked to take on.

And the 80/20 rule of the world’s economy will still play out—80 percent of the money in self-publishing will still be made by 20 percent of the authors. Most will not get rich. That’s just the way it works. But the loss of the gatekeeper means more of the return on each book sold will end up in the hands of the author. And that’s a good thing.

How will all this shake out? It’s anybody’s guess. But these are exciting times in the publishing business. And as any stockbroker worth his salt will tell you, where there’s turmoil, there’s opportunity. Good luck to those who venture forth.

I myself have dipped my toe in the sea of change: I recently self-published a medieval romance novella entitled Tempting the Knight. If you like knights and castles and reunited lovers, perhaps you’ll check it out.

Currently working on: Judging the 2011 Fantasy, Futuristic & Paranormal Romance Writers Prism awards
Mood: Full of words

I have a friend who is quitting. She is not a writer, but her path has been similar: trying to create something out of nothing, trying to find an audience for her something, keeping herself fed and housed while trying to find an audience, etc.

A couple of weeks ago, she announced she was — quite literally — packing up, taking her ball, and going home. I said something along the lines of “You go, girl!” because I think there comes a time when chirpy encouragement becomes cruelty, and I think she’d reached that point.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over in the expectation of different results. Annoyingly, that is also the definition of mastery.

We talked a little about knowing when it is time to quit. (I know the word ‘quit’ sounds harsh, but I’m not sure there’s any point softening it. Give in. Give up. Give out. Whatever you want to say, it’s about no longer doing the thing you’ve been trying to do. Quitting.) Interestingly, although she has always had an obvious escape route, she says she never thought about it until one day it suddenly hit her; she had another option, she didn’t have to keep banging her head against a wall. She could quit. She said she sat with the idea a couple days, mulling it over, and it became ever more clear to her she should quit.

There’s a saying among writers: “Do you know what they call a writer who didn’t quit? Author.” I hate this saying. It implies by not quitting you will get what you want when we all know there’s no such guarantee. But what is guaranteed is that if you do quit you won’t make it.

I talked with XY about quitting too. In his art, he has a couple times made drastic changes that while not exactly quitting were almost as extreme in their consequences. He said, when the moment came, he always knew in his heart that the change had to be made.

Here is my dirty little secret: I am a romance writer, but I have trouble trusting my own heart. (Maybe that’s WHY I am a romance writer.) I have just enough engineer blood to want diagrams and checklists and spreadsheets of the heart’s decisions. So here are the enumerated reasons I came up with — not for knowing when to quit, because I’m still not sure I know when that is right, but for explaining why I haven’t:

1. It would hurt more to quit than to continue.

One of the first writers I met when I had started writing “seriously” quit shortly thereafter. She had had several hemorrhoid operations and sitting down to write was too painful and potentially damaging. For me, that was a good metaphor for knowing when to quit.

2. I haven’t exhausted all my options.

I’m still learning, still getting better, still excited by what I’m doing. That’s a forward momentum of its own.

3. There’s nothing else I want more.

Maybe that’s not exactly a noble sentiment, but it’s true. As much as I whine about writing, it’s what I do, it’s what I’ve always done, and I can’t imagine not wanting to do it, even when it’s terrible.

4. I am stubborn.

My saving grace. When all else fails me, the stubbornness remains.

5. My heart says write.

As I tally my reasons, I guess that starts to sound like the little inner voice of the heart that says “Onward.”

I think there can be wisdom and relief in quitting, as well as the potential for greater satisfaction elsewhere. And quitting doesn’t have to be permanent. I often quit is disgust around chapter 7 and don’t start again until chapter 8. I wish my friend well in her next endeavor and hope she finds the success she wants.

Meanwhile, onward.

Have you ever had to trust your heart over your head? How did it work out? How did you KNOW you were right?

The title of this blog post comes from a song by JoDee Messina called That’s the Way.

I decided to blog about this topic after receiving two emails from different people highlighting the challenges of being reviewed. In one instance, an author received a two-star review and then proceeded to harangue the reviewer on his blog for it. In the other, a young author got completely ripped apart by reviewers who I don’t believe have even read the book yet (it comes out in August).

One of the hardest parts about being an author is that you have to put your work out there and then take whatever comes. In today’s social media world both the review and people’s responses to it (including yours) become very, very public.

If the review is good, that can result in a flood of sales as the good word spreads. Unfortunately, a good review doesn’t automatically translate into fame or fortune. It generally has to ‘go viral’ for that to happen, and the truth is, bad news is more likely to go viral than good. The two emails I received were both examples of bad news traveling fast.

As an author, your sphere of control is very limited. You cannot control how other people react to your book. You can only control the words in the book itself, and your professionalism after the book is published.

It’s very hard to accept that some people disliked your book so much that they could not finish it, or thought it worthy of a scathing one-star review. But even if you write an excellent book, you won’t satisfy everyone. If you need evidence of that, take a look at the Amazon reviews for Charles Dickens, Leo Tolstoy, and Jane Austen. They all have one-star reviews. Heck, pick almost any current best-selling author and you’ll see the same thing.

You can’t please everyone. And you can’t control what people think.

You need to roll with the punches. Absorb them with the least amount of pain possible and move on. Take the high ground, even if the comments are bitter and unwarranted… No, scratch that. Especially if they are bitter and unwarranted.

Which, thankfully, most are not.

Currently working on: 4 projects
Mood: Juggling

“A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice.”
~Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911

I believe wholeheartedly in the value of learning through hands-on experience, but I also don’t see the point in reinventing wheels, so I am always on the lookout for good advice. I poke around on websites, I listen to webinars, I attend workshops, all in pursuit of info I can use.

But, wow, there’s a lot of bad/misleading/conflicting advice out there. How do you process the wheat from the weevils?

1. Start with good sources.

Despite the seemingly overwhelming amount of info available to even a causal seeker these days, it doesn’t take long to start seeing patterns. Some sources are referred to again and again. (Others are dissed repeatedly.) Pay attention not just to what the sources are saying, but what other people are saying about the sources. For example, when it comes to research, Wikipedia is an easy resource (usually the first link on Google) but it is only as reliable as the anonymous authors contributing to its entries.

2. Even with good sources, identify potential biases.

Guilty confession: I like the Drudge Report and The Daily Show. I figure if I get my “news” from these two sources, their opposite ends of ridiculousness cancel each other out and I can call myself an informed citizen. Okay, not really, but I think those are good examples of sources that have nuggets of usable info even though both have their readily identifiable slants.

3. Stay flexible and attentive.

Situations change over time. A source that was reliable about one topic may not be up to date with changes elsewhere. And up to date doesn’t necessarily mean comprehensive. Watching the terrible news about Japan play out over the instantaneous Twitter and the more established news sites has been an interesting study in the strengths and weaknesses of those two source forms.

Here are a few of my go-to sources:

Researching editors and agents: Writer Beware and AbsoluteWrite

Writing community: Savvy Authors

Reader mindsets: Dear Author and Smart Bitches Trashy Books

Business of romance writing: Romance Writers of America

If you have favorite sources, please post links in comments. I’m always looking for new resources.