Silk and Shadows is delighted to have Shereen Vedam as our guest. Her stories are magical, whimsical, and always surprising … prepare yourself to be delighted when you pick up her books. We’re fortunate to have her here introducing her latest short work.
Please help us make her welcome! There’s a free copy available of The Misspelled Charm for someone who comments.
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First, I’d like to thank Silk and Shadows for inviting me. Their invitation ties in nicely with my topic – Belonging – and my latest fantasy short story release, The Misspelled Charm. Both are about finding that special place where one fits in, will be accepted, where someone says, come in, please.
People are social creatures and we understand that need to belong, be it at work or socially, within our family or with friends. Yet, belonging, being accepted, being invited even, isn’t easy and doesn’t happen on command.
That’s the reason why there are loners in school, people willing to partake in college fraternity hazing, and at work, if you can’t get along, you can’t get ahead. As for paranormal stories, isn’t wanting to belong at the heart of many?
So, how can we fit in, be accepted, get along? And should we even want to?
Abraham Maslow’s answer to that last question would likely have been a resounding, yes!
“When people appear to be something other than good and decent, it is only because they are reacting to stress, pain, or the deprivation of basic human needs such as security, love, and self-esteem.”
Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
Maslow hypothesized that before we can become self-actualized (i.e. act unselfishly, be creative, problem solve and shed prejudices), we must first master 4 basic human needs.
He saw these 4 basic human needs as being arranged in hierarchical order. A pyramid, if you will. As with any climbing exercise, we must first feel secure on the first step, before we attempt the next one.
Maslow saw the first human need as Physiological – the need for air, water, food, sex and sleep. Yup, sex is right there as one of the first basic human needs. Who’d have guessed? Well, maybe romance readers.
Master this first need and the second one extends its lure, whispering, look what’s up here. This second need is for Safety. For our self, our loved ones, our health and property.
The third need for Love and Belonging.
“Lack of interactions, human relationships and the sense of belonging may result in depression or loneliness while an abundance of love and community often sustain people through difficult times.”
Abraham Maslow
Where does that leave that loner in school? The college freshman talked into a dangerous hazing ritual? The awkward colleague overlooked for promotion, again.
Or, as in The Misspelled Charm, a witch who can take a lover for a night but not for a lifetime. Because, within her society, witches are tolerated, not accepted.
Witches don’t belong.
How can we conquer the challenges of this troublesome third need in order to reach for that much-valued fourth need for Self-esteem – where we grow confident, respect others and, in turn, are respected?
And if we can’t get past these four basic needs, will we ever achieve that top tier on Maslow’s pyramid, and become Self-actualized? Where we learn to respect those with whom we don’t get along? Where we wallow in divine creativity? Where we problem-solve our way to a success life?
I believe Maslow’s third basic need for love/ belonging is a crucial one in our journey to self-actualization. Better yet, it’s a step that everyone in society can help each other to master. Because belonging often begins with an invitation. An open door. A, “Come in, please.” Making that offer is a great way for us to give someone else a hand up Maslow’s pyramid.
In The Misspelled Charm, I explore this theme of belonging with a witch who finds the courage to reach for her place within her society and win the love of a man who is out to break any magical hold she might have on him.
Here’s a short excerpt:
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Stripping off his tunic and boots, he rolled up his trews and set to washing.
“Morning, stranger!”
Kord looked up, cool water running in streams along his hot, flushed cheeks.
A man in a brown robe cinched at the waist waved to him from across the street.
“Morning,” Kord replied in a gruff voice, not wanting to encourage conversation. The last thing he needed was to be questioned on why he came out of a witch’s house in the early morning hours.
Villagers tended to be wary of strangers, but even more so of people who associated with witches. Men had been stoned for bedding one, because it was said that a child of such a union was often malformed or cursed. He shrugged back into his tunic and avoided eye contact.
“Are you a friend of Charmaine’s?”
“No.”
“A relative?”
“No.” His feet were as clean as they were ever likely to get, so he sat on the ledge and rolled down his trews and put his boots back on.
“Who are you then?”
Kord pretended not to hear the prying question and headed to Charmaine’s house. He glanced back and discovered five people gathered across the road. Neighbors sensing gossip, or danger. He relented, wanting to allay fears. “I’m Kord from Camden. I’ve business with her.”
“Oh,” a woman said with a warm smile. “Good. She needs the custom, poor thing.”
About to retreat, that comment made him pause and face his interrogators. The woman had sounded as if she cared about the witch’s well-being.
“You’ve known her long?” he asked.
“All my life. We were schooled together.”
Witches went to school in Ponce? He had never heard of such a thing. Before you knew it, the University of Edensa would take one on for higher studies. The absurd notion made him chuckle.
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I’d love to hear your thoughts on this intriguing subject of belonging. There’s a free copy available of The Misspelled Charm for someone who comments.
The Misspelled Charm is also available at The Wild Rose Press or from other ebookstores (links to bookstores, reviews and another short excerpt are available on my website: www.shereenvedam.com).
If you purchase/read this fantasy romance short story, I (on behalf of Justin, the heroine’s familiar) would be very grateful if you would take the time to write an honest review at GoodReads, Amazon and/or Barnes and Noble. What can I say? Justin’s a bit of an attention hog. He’s definitely reached the self-actualization stage.
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As a romance writer, I like to think that “love is all you need.” But I suppose in Maslow’s hierarchy, love is right in the middle, right in the heart, of what we need. And maybe that’s a better place to be
by Jessa Slade May 10th, 2012 at 2:00 amThe great thing about the internet is that it is much easier to find people that share common interests so it is much easier to feel like you belong somewhere. That’s also why I thought college was great. There was such a large group of people that you could find where you fit in much easier than in a smaller high school controlled by a few groups.
by Pam May 10th, 2012 at 4:04 amI agree with Pam, of course it is easier to become prey and get almost if not eaten alive by the same admission.
by Breila @ Book Lover's Haven May 10th, 2012 at 7:26 amYour book sounds intriguing and I’d love to read it.
by Monica May 10th, 2012 at 7:41 amI was a teacher years ago and often observed kids who had a hard time fitting in with some students find their place with another group who had similiar interests. There were the comic book geeks, the Goths, and the excellent students to name a few. I think most people find a place to belong eventually though the path is often rough and uncomfortable.
How often when some horrific, mass murder is commited, do we hear the comment,”He was a loner and really didn’t have friends”? I’m not implying that all lone people are mass murderers. I’m just trying to show how important that third step of Maslow’s really is!
by Karen K. May 10th, 2012 at 8:25 am
I would love to win and read your book!
by Bonita Lujan May 10th, 2012 at 8:43 amWhat an intriguing post! It definitely makes you stop and think about what constitutes one’s self of belonging. I definitely believe that the part about love is definitely true. Self love or love w/ another can help make all the others fall into place.
by erinf1 May 10th, 2012 at 9:06 amI was one of those loners. Yes, school at first, was a bear because I did not belong to a group. I, at some point, decided to belong to many groups, athletic, drama, geek and anything else I could find. It made for an interesting experience that I still carry even now at 69 year.
by Pat Freely May 10th, 2012 at 9:12 amI’m loving these comments. And Pat, I’m so glad you figured out a way to “belong.”
I’m rushing off to work but plan to come back this evening to read all the comments with more care.
by Shereen Vedam May 10th, 2012 at 9:26 amHeh, I’m still one of those loners, I think, though I am working somewhat on expanding my social circle. I think in some ways, those who naturally interact easily and make friends don’t really understand just how hard and intimidating that can be for some of us.
by Ashley E May 10th, 2012 at 5:24 pmAbsolutely, Ashley, socializing is second nature to some. Not so much to others.
And number of people can affect the outcome. One on one, I’m fine but put me in a crowd and I often clam up.
Recently, after avoiding facebook for years, I started a facebook business/fan page and it amazed me how “connected” it makes one feel.
I think that might be part of facebook’s vast popularity. It connects those who love to connect, and gives those who are don’t connect so easily an opportunity to do it in an unthreatening but prolific manner.
I think Facebook might be enabling Maslow’s Need #3 in people all across the world.
by Shereen Vedam May 10th, 2012 at 7:49 pmHi,
by Jennifer Morrell May 11th, 2012 at 11:03 pmThis looks really good, I would love to win a copy and review it!
Jenn
Glad you came by Jennifer,
Good luck with winning a copy but you don’t feel you have to review it (unless the urge takes you, in which case both Justin and I will give you a heartfelt “thank you.”)
All I would hope for of anyone reading this story is that you thoroughly enjoy it as much as I did writing it
I LOVE fantasy! And I especially love this couple and that cat, lol.
by Shereen Vedam May 12th, 2012 at 8:55 am